Bunking in an Engineering College

First Semester
Student 1 - Should we bunk ?
Student 2 - Let me calculate our attendance first..No..bunked one class this week already.We shouldn't bunk.

Second Semester
Student 1 - Ei wanna bunk the next class ?
Student 2 - Hmm.I guess we can.Okay, lets bunk.

Third Semester
Student 1 - Lets bunk this class.
Student 2 - Convince the nerds first.
Nerds not convinced.But non nerds bunk.

Fourth Semester
Student 1 - Lets bunk the next class.
No one tries convincing the nerds.To each his own.

Fifth Semester
Student 1 -  Hey I don't wanna do class today.Lets bunk the whole day.
Student 2 - No, lets do one class we'll bunk after that.
Student 1 - Cool.

Sixth Semester
Student - Ei lets not do college tomorrow.
Student 2 - Yeah, good call.

Seventh Semester
Student 1 - Are we coming to college this week ?
Student 2 - NO!!! ARE YOU MAD ?

Eighth Semester
Student 1 - Acha are we coming to college this sem ?
Student 2 - SNORT.Of course not.

How To Write An Erotic Novel : Guaranteed Success

THE GUY 

1. Must be filthy rich.
2. Must have the most gorgeous body.
3. Must have the most handsome face.
4. Must have the most intense eyes.
5. Must have childhood/teenage trauma because of which he sees a shrink.
6. Must have lots and lost of deep dark secrets.
7. Must have nightmares.MUST.
8. Either never had a serious relationship before OR has a stalker ex-girlfriend OR his first love broke his heart in millions of tiny pieces and crushed it into dust.
9. Must be very very mysterious and secretive.
10. Must have a couple of penthouses,a private jet/helicoptor or both.
11. Must employ detective to find out everything about his girlfriend.
12. Must be freakishly possessive.
13. Must be either adopted OR have siblings with whom he has deep-rooted issues.
14. Must feel the need to have sex with her the moment his eyes land on her the very first time.
15. Must be completely taken aback and wonder obsessively how a simple girl,with simple clothes and simple hair with a simple job has made him fall madly in love when generally he tends to go for the posh sophisticated,rich,leggy lasses with dare bare outfits.


THE GIRL

1. Must be clumsy as a result of which she will bump into The Guy in the elevator or on the ground floor,things will fall out of her hand and the The Guy will pick her up,look at her in the eyes with a strange expression (at this point intense electricity is supposed to flow between them) , give a weak-in-the-knees smile and glide away.
2. Must keep meeting The Guy preferably in the elevator,so that she can be absolutely sure that there is certain chemistry between them.
3. Must either be a naive simpering virgin OR must have childhood trauma and/or deep dark secrets like The Guy.
4. Cannot be like the supermodel type The Guy generally dates.
5. Preferably with divorced parents.


THE SEX

1. The guy must be the very best at it.nothing less than that is acceptable.
2. Must have sex anytime anywhere anyhow, namely :
    a)Back of car
    b)Family Gathering
    c)Party
    d)Elevator
    e)Piano
    f)Office table
    g)Kitchen table
    h)Study table
    i)All other tables
    j)Penthouse sofa
    k)The sofa in his/her office
    l)Carpet
    m)Shower
    n)Chair
    o)Bed (a rather mundane place though)
Put in appropriate words and sounds (you know what i mean) and wallah,there you have it - your very own erotic novel.

Living In The 90's Meant

Cartoon Network was at its peak with Captain Planet,Swat Kats,Dexters Lab,Ninja Robots,Scooby Doo,The Jetsons,The Flinstones,The Little Lulu Show,Centurions.









We actually looked up places on the atlas and not on Google Map,especially for geography map homework. And everyone had a globe at home.

We knew books like Famous Five, The Five Findouters, Secret Seven, Amelia Jane, The Naughty Girl, St Clares, Malory Towers and when we became teens we read Nancy Drew (for girls) and Hardy Boys (for boys) instead of reading about creatures of the dark with glittering body,fangs and bloodlust and their pale human girlfriend.



We were crazy about Harry Potter (at least i was) or star wars et all and we had cuttings about our favourite movie/actor/franchise and had a diary where we glued all those cuttings. We didnt browse the net,we read newspapers.








We wrote on lokenath khata. the most popular brand of khatas in Calcutta,slowly being replaced by Classmate now.

There was no hard drive or pendrive. We copied and stored our songs and movies on CDs (even DVDs came in much later).most of us still have the huge collection of CDs.One movie generally needed 2 CDs each.and we used floppy drives for documents,excel worksheets etc. No pendrives to exchange data in.







And the first cell phone in India was so big that I am pretty sure you can use it as a club and will result in immediate death of the person if it ever comes in contact with his head. It had no vibration,no calendar,no reminder but it had what even the fanciest cell phones still have now -  Snakes.

A few words/phrases whose usage should not be tolerated

"Pass the calci"
Its calculator . Not your pet whom you lovingly call it by its nickname.

"Heyyyyyyyyy. How are yoouuuuuuuuu????"(in sms or chat)
Its "hey". Not heyyyyyyyyy.
Its "you". Not youuuuuuuu.
Please keep such extreme enthusiasm to yourself.
Dont subject others to it.
Also it is highly unnecessary to use extra letters.its as if you are trying to cover up the fact that you dont have anything worthwhile to say so you fill up the chat box with extra alphabets.
Bottle up the enthusiasm and store it. Sell it on ebay later.

"Hey,thoda shift na."
Its "hey,shift" or "hey,shift please".
There is absolutely no need to show that you know all 3 languages .

"Its ma thing,yo"
Its not ma.its "my".ma means mother,you extra-cool-people.
And no need to attach a yo to the end of every sentence. We already got from "ma" that you are very cool.

"Im said like..and she said like...and then i went like.."
Please delete the word like from your vocabulary. Please. For the good of humanity.

Better Safe Than Sorry

In light of some recent horror stories that have come to light in Calcutta regarding violence and murder against women,I've decided to list a few safety measures for all women out there.since not it seems that men just cannot be trusted.the city is becoming increasingly unsafe for women even int the crowded streets.since women will forever be physically weaker than men (unless your are a professional boxer) we need to find some ways to keep ourselves safe when it gets dark.fortunately women have more brains than these hoodlums and a definite sixth sense.so if we can properly utilise them we can stay safe.

1. Carry a canister of pepper spray.and when you leave the office or a disc or basically step out into the street at night or a deserted road keep the canister in your hand or in easy reach within your bag.you wont have time to open the chain,fumble around in your bag and take out the canister so just keep it handy in whichever way seems easiest.

2. Always be alert.ALWAYS.if you feel someone is watching your or following you or you are feeling extremely uneasy with the crowd around you immediately get inside a crowded shop or just go inside an office building and call up a friend or relative to escort you back home.

3. If you get late from work make sure you have some confirmed transport to take you home.either your own car or someone to pick you up or a cab service.never go out alone and stand on the footpath waiting to catch something that comes your way.that is the mistakes most make.

4. In continuation with the above point make sure the car or transport or whoever comes to pick you up,picks you up straight from the door of your office or disc or where ever you are. Do not go out on the street and wait for the car or person.

5. Never get onto a shuttle.even if you see a woman or more than one sitting inside you never know whether those women are all in it together or not.its very simple.never talk to strangers.never have anything to do with any strangers.

6. If while walking alone at night someone asks you for direction (even if its a woman),do not stop to answer.just tell her sorry you do not know or tell her to ask the police and move on.Do not stop walking.

7. If you are at a disc/bar and you meet some or very nice people:
a)NEVER take any drink they offer.you do not know them.you do not know whether they have mixed something in your drink or not,irrespective of how well behaved or respectable they appear.
b)NEVER accept a ride home with them.again,you do not know them.

8. At home never keep your house keys in plain view.try not keeping them where people like your domestic servant or security guard or electrician can see.keep them in a drawer or in a bag.

9. Keep your Almira or cupboard or any valuables locked up and make your your domestic help does not know where you keep the jewellery or cash.

10. When ever an electrician or ac cleaner or any unknown man needs to come over make sure you have another adult in the house with you.

11. Never open the door completely to the postman or the men who come to take surveys.

12. If you cannot recognise the person even through the keyhole,DO NOT open the door.talk to him/her without opening the door.

13. If you can keep a licensed gun with you.it is preferable not to use it but at least you can just use it to keep your attackers at bay and buy yourself more time.its all about keeping yourself alive.

14. If someone comes at you with a gun or even a knife,RUN.don't think 'oh he'll catch me' and stay rooted to the spot.even if he tries to stop you,none of them are marksmen so there's a high chance the bullet wont even graze you.and SCREAM.until and unless they catch  you (god forbid) use whatever you have at your disposal.don't cave in.fight.

Hence its better to be safe than sorry or hurt.